The biggest thing which holds us back from creating change, going out alone and living the life of our dreams is of course F.E.A.R.
So I wanted to share with you my three steps for conquering your fears right now.
Step 1 : Recognise it
The first step to dealing with F.E.A.R is calling it by its name. Sure you will make the excuses that it’s because of money, lack of time or some other reason why you can’t do something that you want to do. It might be stepping up and leaving your job, starting that business or getting high level support but the fact is your making excuses because F.E.A.R is running the show.
So what are you struggling to make a decision about at the moment? Be aware that not making a decision is making a decision – its called doing nothing and staying right where you are!
Then ask yourself this, is this decision coming from a place of FEAR?
For example, are you making excuses about something? I can’t do this because of this, that or the other.
Or is it a decision coming from a place of Love? For example. I’m excited, feeling joyful, happy and ahhhh (even scared) with the decision I’m making.
If you’re feeling expanded and excited about a decision – it’s a LOVE based decision. If you are feeling safe and are making excuses – call it by its name, it’s FEAR running the show.
Accept it, recognise the FEAR, call it by its name and move onto step two.
Step 2 – Start a Dialogue with F.EA.R
Ok, so now you have called it by its name – FEAR. You need to start a conversation with your it. On average you have between 20,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. You are in a constant dialogue with yourself all day long. Most of the time you are so busy, you are not aware of the thoughts and playlists your having.
Fear starts and end in your mind. You make up stories and start using the past to predict the future. You think what about this and what about that. But as Einstein said ‘the Mind is a faithful servant but a dangerous master’. In others words, if you let F.EA.R and your mind run the show, your on a sure path to nowhere. You must learn to control and master your mind.
Elizabeth Gilbert states that we must ‘let fear sit in the backseat of the car but never letting it drive’. We can do that by starting the dialogue. Once recognising F.E.A.R, ask yourself how is this F.E.AR making me feel? What am I really fearful about? Is that true? Is that really going to happen? How would I like to feel instead? What would I like to happen?
F.E.A.R is False Evidence Appearing Real.
Step 3 – Breath into it
Everyone feels F.E.A.R, it’s totally normal and no-one is fearless! Usually, when we are in F.E.A.R we hold our breath but when we breath into it, the fear turns into excitement. You know when you get that little rush of excitement in the pit of your stomach? The butterflies?
The most successful people still have F.E.A.R, they have just to learnt to breath into it and do it anyway as that is when you grow.
The truth is if your not fearful some of the time, you’re not thinking big enough. You’re not expanding which means you will stay exactly where you are. So just breath and say thank you for the sign that I’m expanding, growing and evolving.
Take a breath and say ‘I am going to feel the F.EA.R and do it anyway’. ‘I recognise I am growing, expanding and evolving, amazing things are bound to happen’.
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