During my legal career, I worked with people who spent much time scaring the general public and as a young woman in the profession of criminal defence – I learnt quickly to assert myself in a way where I was heard and respected. I later quit my job with no real plan or security in place.
As a woman who felt she faced many fears in her journey to success, a year or so into my personal development journey as an entrepreneur I realised that hidden fear was keeping me stuck.
So I learnt to identify my fear-based decisions by the language I was using and the excuses I was making. Here are three ways, you can identify how fear is keeping you stuck.
1. What If’s
This is a sure sign that your mind is projecting into the future and placing you in fear. Your minds job is to protect you and it does so by using the past to predict the future.
Here comes the language : ‘I would do this, but what if that happens’. ‘I would invest in that, but what if I don’t make the money back’. ‘I would go there, but what if I am not safe on my own’.
‘What if’s’ are big neon sign of fear and the projections it makes in an attempt to keep you safe and as a result limiting you massively.
2. Should I
If you’re asking if you ‘should’ be doing something but in reality you don’t really want to and it doesn’t feel good to you – then fear is showing itself again.
This is especially true if you have started a business and are in the process of comparing yourself to others and what they might be doing being with what you ‘should’ be doing as well.
Underlying this is a fear of missing out or not being good enough or as good as someone else.
3. I would, but
The age old excuses tactic that your circumstances are different and preventing you from doing something you’d like to do.
‘I would like to start a business but I just don’t have time. I would like to invest in coaching but I just don’t have the money.’
The reality is excuses are just that, something to hide behind instead of making a bold move to change your circumstances. Fear likes what it knows and for you to stay where you are.
So what fear based language are you currently using which is keeping you stuck?