Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the most successful of them all?
This is a question we all ask ourselves whilst we are striving for success on other people’s terms instead of our own. Arianna Huffington talks about money and power being the ultimate masculine markers of success in our society when in reality success is about far more than that.
In my experience of firstly being a woman from the legal profession and coaching SUCCESSFUL women from the professional world, success to us has a requirement of feeling valued. Being valued for what we do is crucial. Perhaps were looking for validation outside of ourselves? Is it because we sacrifice so much for success in the masculine designed world that we need approval?
Frequently clients say to me ‘I want to do what is expected’, ‘I want to be as good as others’, ‘I want the next promotion/partnership, more recognition or a new job’ but we don’t really think about why we are striving for that next thing! The patriarchal corporate world teaches us to strive for success with a measuring stick that belongs to someone else. Quite often we say, ‘well I want to say that I’ve done it’ but we are not even sure who we are saying it too.
We live in a consumer society all about having the overt signs of success, the car, the house, the holidays and our job title defining who we are.Any lawyers will know the instant respect we get when people find out you’re a lawyer. Our family and friends introduce us as one. Why? It’s a sign of success.
In the words of Oprah, ‘what I know for sure’ is that success is an inside job. It’s a subjective term yet most of us treat is as an objective one. We care far more about what other people think than how our successes make us feel.
What is the mirror of success we are all comparing ourselves too? Who has defined success for us? Society? Our parents? The corporate world?
2016 is the year, I made the decision to truly define success for myself, and to help other women do exactly the same.
So, as we close another year and you look in the mirror of success asking who is the most successful of them all. Take a really long, hard look at you, straight into your eyes and ask what’s success to me? Then write it down. It’s a question only you can answer, put a stop to letting other people define it for you.